Computer says no....a real life Carol Beer

Today came across a real life Carol Beer character (Computer says no from Little Britain), actually it was a guy so let's call him Rajiv.

conversation in mobile phone  shop today

me: "Hi.......I do not have roaming on my phone, I went to Oman & I had no signal"
Rajiv:"You need to pay a deposit of £350 to use the roaming service"
me:" Actually you have my credit card details, I have filled in a mandate so you can charge my card if I do not pay"
Rajiv: "We require a deposit"
me:"That's pathetic why do you get my credit card details if you still want a deposit. I want to make a formal complaint about this, who do I need to contact?"
Rajiv:"Contact the government"
me:"Bollocks"

In Dubai it's not a case of the "computer saying no" but rather the "government saying no".  The telecoms industry is a duopoly of Government backed organisations and skype is officially banned.

WRESTLEMANIA - DESI STYLE

When I was a little lad back in the 1970’s I have fond memories of watching World of Sport presented by Dickie Davies, and especially the wrestling feature with commentator Kent Walton. Those were the simple days with three channels on your television, linoleum flooring, no computers, no mobiles, no internet, no game consoles, but we had wrestling and in my household this was the father & son bonding time. Apart from the news, the “Nai Zindagi Naya Jeevan” Asian programme on the BBC and wrestling my father watched very little TV but he had a great fondness for this sport.

The wrestling would generate powerful emotions in my father, and it was an experience to witness this transformation. He would start slamming the settee, with his fist performing the 3 count. Start shouting at the fighter, as if he was the corner-man, jump up and down, become animated, excited, agitated, every possible emotion would crop up on a Saturday afternoon as he was so passionate and obsessed with the game of wrestling. These qualities have of course been passed down to me but in my case the trigger is a completely different sport, namely cricket.

So there I was in Deira discovering the real Dubai, not the fake malls and sky high tower blocks which are sprawled all over the country but the place where the people who built this fascinating city live and play.

On a makeshift sports playing field next to the Hyatt Regency Deira and close to the corniche I came across hundreds of Pakistani men forming a circle and watching the main event on a Friday afternoon. The freestyle wrestling competition, where the master of ceremony openly challenges the fine young men from the audience to enter the ring and take on the champion. This is sport from the golden ages, how the game was played before the mass commercialisation and sport became a business.

The MC with his Jinnah cap, red dyed beard and a thick stick performed his very own Punjabi version of Michael Buffers “let’s get ready to rumble” and with a sole dhol player encircling the ring with his rhythmic beats it was showtime.

Watching the wrestlers I imagined how this scene would have been replicated across the village in Pakistan, and this is where my father would have developed an interest in the sport. This was a magic moment for me on a personal level, a sense of reconnection and pride.

Now it's time I hit the gym and started training, in case there is ever a veterans tournament in the 200 pound class.